Army of Two: The B Movie Video Game

These two have a bond like no other.

Alright so maybe I’m a little late on this review, but because of just how much it made me laugh playing through it all I figured it deserved to get it’s time in the sun. Before I get into an actual “review” of the game let me explain what led me to rent it. My girlfriend’s brother (who lives here with us) has not touched the 360 since I brought it over from Vegas. I figured I would find something built on the idea of co-op would be the best thing to get him started on his first trek into playing a 360 game. In hindsight I probably should have went with Gears of War or Rainbow Six Vegas, which I will probably rent one of those tonight. However, the name “Army of Two” just screamed “MULTIPLAYER!” so naturally I snagged it.

With that background story of the way, let us get onto the meat of this review. Just what the hell happened when we started to play the game? Apparently putting a scarred bald man with a pretty boy and throwing the most grunge masks on them as possible was deemed a “good idea” when they put this game together. While it works if you don’t take the game seriously, I’m sure there is at least one group of frat boys out there slamming their heads together, giving each other high fives, all while doing air guitars that will disagree with me. I could not help but laugh at just how hokey and B movie sounding the entire script was. It was like playing the original Evil Dead, but with two Ash’s…only one was bald and the other was a pretty man. Don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t have had a better time playing the game. From beginning to end Corn (my girlfriend’s bother), Spazzy (my girlfriend), and myself laughed so hard we could barely control ourselves. Just let it be known this game is to be taken with a grain of salt.

While the story is something out of a late night 80’s drive-in theater the gameplay is nicely put together. You really do need to rely on your partner’s skill at various points in the game, which make you realize “Oh that’s right, that’s why he’s there”. In reality though, most of the game you could just ignore your fellow iron mask wearer and happily slaughter anyone without that happy grim reaper face in your path. It is pretty well balanced as far as the guns you can acquire in the game, you either have a lot of ammo and a moderately damaging gun, nearly no ammo and a gun that could kill anything in your way, or a slight combination of the two. It works out well, especially if you and your partner have varying gunplay styles.

Overall, it was not a bad game, not something I would buy mind you, but I had a lot of fun.  If you have someone you want to play co-op with be it local or online, and this is definitely a good time to be had by all. Just remember to ignore the dialogue best you can.

….ELIOOOOOOOT!

I can feel the love.